I’ve decided if I’m ever on Death Row, that my last meal will be Taco Bell. Because for once I’d like to eat Taco Bell without spending the next day on the shitter cott @scott www. olander olander htsahdpranks.com
[Continue reading] about The Brown MilePants on fire
Donald Trump claims to have slept with 500 women. He is obviously Iging because He fucked every American when he became president. – One Esco
[Continue reading] about Pants on firecasual encounters
Many people use Craigslist to roommates, cheap furniture, used ears part-time jobs. But there’s another function: Sex. I decided to dive into Craigslist’s “Casual Encotmters” — a section made for no-strirys hool«os Cotoles, fat girls, older women, trannies, gary bangs glory holes…. and before I knew it I’ve tried it all .1 just thought “pussy […]
[Continue reading] about casual encountersAs the superbowl ends life goes on… never ending.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back! “bunnieskirt
[Continue reading] about As the superbowl ends life goes on… never ending.Getting high so I can jump
When someone says they don’t smoke weed and you’re just like I’m literally high 24/7 Follow You’re weird bro @weedsavage weedsavage
[Continue reading] about Getting high so I can jumpConcrete Jungle
New York Is gross, but we nave to stay Dositlve… re there’s a I-ng Gatorade O efull of Dee n If In, but alf Ink o full.
[Continue reading] about Concrete JungleOne Way To Get People To Read More Books
Americans spend five times as much money on lottery tickets as on books. If onlY&they’d write more books on how to win the lottery. FREE DOWNLOAD of Ben Rosenfeld’s Comedy Album: BigBenComedY.com/reddit
[Continue reading] about One Way To Get People To Read More BooksThat’s a lot of Galactic Credits, or whatever.
“There are Star Wars fans who are petitioning Disney to recall The Last Jedi because it’s not “canon.” In other news, The Last Jedi just went over $1.3 billion in worldwide box office. Your move, nerds.” – Bob Phillips I @BobTheSuit
[Continue reading] about That’s a lot of Galactic Credits, or whatever.That awkward feeling
Dating a new girl is always strange at first It’s another potential girl that will see me naked… that isn’t an unsuspecting jogger in the park Twitter @FunnyJeffMorris Instagram @JeffMorrisComedy
[Continue reading] about That awkward feelingDirty sheets
Women, stoo expecting your men to do chores around the house without being asked. Men are 0k sleeping in sheets that haven’t been washed in over a yeai. There is no way they are looking at your regularly cleaned toilet and thinking to themselves, “looks like it’s about due for a scrub”.
[Continue reading] about Dirty sheetsMLK for Dodge Ram
His family mustsbe oroud that he finally got oil”bat timeless message…. “l hawe dream that one day my four children will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by their supercharged horsepower”
[Continue reading] about MLK for Dodge RamOh, the “sign” was there. (and on the front of his house)
I’ve always liked Quentin Tarantino’s movies. That being said, I can’t say that I’m surprised that a white guy, who cast himself to play a character that aggressively uses the N-word, is also kind ofa,dick. @Inf_Adel
[Continue reading] about Oh, the “sign” was there. (and on the front of his house)Desperate (Sleep) Times Call For Desperate (Sleep) Measures
MY HUSBAND SNORES SUPER LOUD WHEN HE SLEEP$ECAUSE OF THIS;’I’M UNABLE TO GET A GOOD NIGHT’S REST. I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING TO FIX THE ISSUE: ADJUSTABLE PILLOWS, BREATHE-RIGHT STRIPS, YOU NAME IL. NOTHING WORKS! I REALIZED THE ISSUE IS HE SLEEPS WITH HIS MOUTH WIDE OPEN. HE CLAIMS HE CAN’T SLEEP WITH HIS MOUTH CLOSED AND […]
[Continue reading] about Desperate (Sleep) Times Call For Desperate (Sleep) MeasuresOrigin Story
MY parents are divorced. Becausethat’s how comedians happen. FREE DOWNLOAD of Ben Rosenfeld’s Comedy Album: BigBenComedY.com/reddit
[Continue reading] about Origin StorySuperbowl Sunday
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back! “bunnieskirt
[Continue reading] about Superbowl SundayMore passionate! More Christier!
Have you heard about the Passion of the Christ sequel? Passion of the Christ 2: H me for the Holidays Plot twist: Jesus has been dead this whole time. The Jews were right.
[Continue reading] about More passionate! More Christier!