Growing up in my small town the biggest dickhead cop had the exact same name as me This caused a lot of problems when I got to high school the seniors would beat me up cause they thought he was my dad He used night vision goggles to bust up keg parties in the woods. […][Continue reading] about ACAB
My landlord is a Trump supporter. I keep telling him the check is in the mail. @Michael_Schirtzer[Continue reading] about It usually gets there on time…
People are saying NYC is dead but even if it was dead real New Yorkers would just step over it to get on the subway. Pete Stegemeyer @itsoeterj[Continue reading] about I’m walking here!
Having a roommate during coronavirus feels like being in an unfaithful marriage. Every time he comes home I’m like, “Where the hell have you been?? Did you wear protection or were you a dirty slut???” @gianm kcosor[Continue reading] about Pandemic Roommates
if they didn’t want me to get hard immediately after my adult circumcision and blow my stitches out then they should have put away the Oprah magazines @ErikJMoyer[Continue reading] about it’s been a tough week
If you had to play musical chairs at my grandma’s house, the two musicals would be Cats and Hair. Subscribe to our podcast¯¯ Joke Quest 200 ! UKEN Photo By: Bianca Moore[Continue reading] about Truth
THE GIRL SCOUTS HAVE ANNOUNCED “FRENCH TOAST” AS THEIR NEW COOKIE FLAVOR FOR 2021. FOLLOWING SUIT THE BOY SCOUTS HAVE ANNOUNCED THEIR NEW COOKIE FLAVOR FOR 2021, THE “DON’T TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT THIS, SNICKERDOODLE”. @thenate au[Continue reading] about Snickerdoodle sounds like a slur.
RIDDLE ME THIS: Why IS EVERY GIRL WHO WAS A BITCH IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW A NURSE? ZANjESl[Continue reading] about Food for thought. [OC]
Rorschach tests are interesting. It’s funny how I can look at a blotch and say “Looks like an elephant balancing on a ball,” and my co-worker can say “Hey, stop staring and pointing at my moles!” Subscribe to our podcast¯¯ Joke Quest 200 ! UKEN Photo By: Bianca Moore[Continue reading] about Blot
Why did we give Fauci such a hard time about throwing a bad first pitch at that baseball game? That was exactly the pitch I WANT from the guy in charge of corona. The farther away the ball is the plate, the sooner this is all over. Also, the whole idea of the opening pitch […][Continue reading] about Fauci and the Ceremonial First Pitch
“The six year old asked me if Santa Claus got Covid and died. I’m going to need Congress to figure out this stimulus package so I can answer that question.” @MonicaNevi[Continue reading] about The most wonderful time of the year.
Girls love it when you call them moody because it shows you’re paying attention. Raphael Loucadellis IG @loucara[Continue reading] about Try it out
Dating tip: women love it when you call them moody because it shows you’re paying attention Raphael Loucadellis IG @loucara[Continue reading] about Just try it out
my dad has this terrible habit of never keeping any of his promises, like taking us to Disneyland or when threatening to kill himself we getito e is just more xpensive @Ale veryisdead[Continue reading] about A promise is a promise
You know what’s so interesting about gay marriage? Nothing. I’m looking forward to gay divorce. It’ll be the first time the man gets the house. @MrFairyRoberts stevenrobertscomedian.com[Continue reading] about A very special Judge Judy…
TapDancing is like twerking to someone with a foot fetic and clogging is 1970’s bush @mikescrai AYTON, ind[Continue reading] about Tapdancing