When my girlfriend is in the living room watching a show I don’t like, we ompromise and w tc 4 seasons of it. Aaron Zarabi
[Continue reading] about Compromise.Most likely
“I’m fairly certain that the only reason I was born crippled was because God knew I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to become a stripper.” —Ally Bruener @BRUEapdSNE
[Continue reading] about Most likelyDavid’s below average Goliath
I think that the famous Renaissance statues were created as an attempt to make small penises cool. Steven Martimucci @moochensabe
[Continue reading] about David’s below average GoliathCarlin on Flame-throwers
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, ebut I’m just not close enough to get the job done. – George Carlin
[Continue reading] about Carlin on Flame-throwersDieting
I’m trying to watch what I eat so I’ve started reading labels and counting calories. it’s kind of mind blowing. Like on a bag of potato chips it ells you if you eat 17 chips you’re consuming 184 calories. Really? Come on… If I’m eating chips just tell me what happens when I eat the […]
[Continue reading] about DietingJoe Camel
Joe Camel wasnt banned tor marketing cigarettes to kids. Joe Camel was banned tor being a sexy •amel that made everyone uncomfortable he dude was ripped, always smoking, had speedboats and motorcycles… He seemed aggressively divorced. Plus he was that blend ot mixed that intimidates both black AND white guys. We could not allow our […]
[Continue reading] about Joe Camel2 Birds 1 Stone
FLYING SPIRIT AIRLINES IS COOL BECAUSE I ALUMS WONDERED WHAT UKE TO HAVE TURBULENCE A PIAHET FITNESS LOCICR ROOM lownseml
[Continue reading] about 2 Birds 1 StoneWorking Out
i I started working out at a gym and it has been a great experience. Except for the fact my gym has mirrors in front of the treadmills. Why does that exist? I can see why that might be motivating to someone with a killer body. Watching their muscles work in synchronicity to push their […]
[Continue reading] about Working OutOscar trivia
IN ACADEMY AWARD SPEECHES STEVEN SPIELBERG HAS BEEN GOD. HIS STORY ABOUT AN ALIEN RETURNING HOME IS MUCH BETTER TOO. @NICKOHLESSA
[Continue reading] about Oscar triviaI hope they ask why I’m qualified for the job
Malcolm Gladwell researched hundreds of successful people and found that the secret to success in a field is 10,000 hours of practice. It’s takes a while to hit that number in increments of 3 minutes, which I think explains my lack of sexual prowess. However, this rule does bode well for my upcoming interview as […]
[Continue reading] about I hope they ask why I’m qualified for the jobSobriety
I’VE EXPERIMENTING WITH SOBRETY„. FOR T}-E FIRST 30 MINUTES OF EVERY DAY.„ Ill ADIQOV GOT-TA FIGURE HOW-TOÆAT UP Y SPOONS QUICKER.. RO-TP: DO NOT MICROWAVE ON FACEBOOK
[Continue reading] about SobrietySo, what kind of music do you like?
I’m thinking of starting a band called “Everything but Country” It already seems to be everyone’s favorite music CharlesTheAverage.com
[Continue reading] about So, what kind of music do you like?Yeah, I’m a parent…
I actually do an amazing impression of my mother. You want to see it? Just keep playing with your iPad when I tell you it’s time to get dressed.
[Continue reading] about Yeah, I’m a parent…If you drive a big truck or a fancy car.
@MATEENSTEWART o 1 FREE PARKING COMEDY SHOW Hosted by. Sear SAY IF you DRIVE A FANCY CAB OVER COMPENSATING FOR A SMALL PEN’S. I CORRELATIONS LIKE ARE A BIT ERRONEOUS BUT PEOPLE USE TIE wonn ERRONEOUS no NAVE A BIG
[Continue reading] about If you drive a big truck or a fancy car.Vaping
COMEDY PHILLIPSBELR,COMS My girlfriend wants me to•stop smoking, so she suggested I try Vaping instead. Which I think is a very lesbian thing to say. “Ew, take that dirty, nasty thing out of your mouth.. Here, try this battery operated alternative instead” David Bruce Photo Erin Haley @westcoasterin
[Continue reading] about VapingOnline dating!
This is a 10 year old comedian. This a savage joke. Online dating is tough. Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
[Continue reading] about Online dating!