MILLENNIAL ATHEISTS ARE SOME FUNNY PEOPLE LIKE, THEY’LL TELL YOU HOW STUPID IT rs TO BELIEVE IN SILLY, SUPERNATURAL SHIT FROM AN OLD BOOK… QI-A AND-THEN*TELL YOWHOW THEY WERE-SORTEDJINTO.GRYFFINDOR BYLA TACKING-HAT. NDANIEL SEULKEE. KIM[Continue reading] about Millennial Atheists
I’ve heard even if you’re blind, your life can flash before your eyes, that totally makes sense, all you see is darkness and now oh LOOK more DARKNESS! @AIexAveryisdead[Continue reading] about Damn, I wish there were pictures
1 COULD NEVER GO HUNTING, 1 CAN BARELY STAND WATCHING MY PHONE DIE. COMEDY ANTONIOCOMEDY.COM[Continue reading] about Can I borrow your charger? I need to plug in my deer…
When my girlfriend is in the living room watching a show I don’t like, we ompromise and w tc 4 seasons of it. Aaron Zarabi[Continue reading] about Compromise.
“I’m fairly certain that the only reason I was born crippled was because God knew I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to become a stripper.” —Ally Bruener @BRUEapdSNE[Continue reading] about Most likely
I think that the famous Renaissance statues were created as an attempt to make small penises cool. Steven Martimucci @moochensabe[Continue reading] about David’s below average Goliath
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, ebut I’m just not close enough to get the job done. – George Carlin[Continue reading] about Carlin on Flame-throwers
I’m trying to watch what I eat so I’ve started reading labels and counting calories. it’s kind of mind blowing. Like on a bag of potato chips it ells you if you eat 17 chips you’re consuming 184 calories. Really? Come on… If I’m eating chips just tell me what happens when I eat the […][Continue reading] about Dieting
Joe Camel wasnt banned tor marketing cigarettes to kids. Joe Camel was banned tor being a sexy •amel that made everyone uncomfortable he dude was ripped, always smoking, had speedboats and motorcycles… He seemed aggressively divorced. Plus he was that blend ot mixed that intimidates both black AND white guys. We could not allow our […][Continue reading] about Joe Camel
FLYING SPIRIT AIRLINES IS COOL BECAUSE I ALUMS WONDERED WHAT UKE TO HAVE TURBULENCE A PIAHET FITNESS LOCICR ROOM lownseml[Continue reading] about 2 Birds 1 Stone
i I started working out at a gym and it has been a great experience. Except for the fact my gym has mirrors in front of the treadmills. Why does that exist? I can see why that might be motivating to someone with a killer body. Watching their muscles work in synchronicity to push their […][Continue reading] about Working Out
IN ACADEMY AWARD SPEECHES STEVEN SPIELBERG HAS BEEN GOD. HIS STORY ABOUT AN ALIEN RETURNING HOME IS MUCH BETTER TOO. @NICKOHLESSA[Continue reading] about Oscar trivia
Malcolm Gladwell researched hundreds of successful people and found that the secret to success in a field is 10,000 hours of practice. It’s takes a while to hit that number in increments of 3 minutes, which I think explains my lack of sexual prowess. However, this rule does bode well for my upcoming interview as […][Continue reading] about I hope they ask why I’m qualified for the job
I’VE EXPERIMENTING WITH SOBRETY„. FOR T}-E FIRST 30 MINUTES OF EVERY DAY.„ Ill ADIQOV GOT-TA FIGURE HOW-TOÆAT UP Y SPOONS QUICKER.. RO-TP: DO NOT MICROWAVE ON FACEBOOK[Continue reading] about Sobriety
I’m thinking of starting a band called “Everything but Country” It already seems to be everyone’s favorite music CharlesTheAverage.com[Continue reading] about So, what kind of music do you like?
I actually do an amazing impression of my mother. You want to see it? Just keep playing with your iPad when I tell you it’s time to get dressed.[Continue reading] about Yeah, I’m a parent…