I’m sort of an adrenaline junky. I’m not a big fan of Skydiving or basejumping though I’m just really into EpiPens. Steuen Martimucci @moochensabe
[Continue reading] about My life is Epici don’t brag right… (after “notes” from redditors)
i keep forgetting to tell women that i have a roommate and sleep on a futon, after i tell them that ilm a divorced comedian and with 4 kids, i spend the rest of the time bragging about what kind of car i used to sleep in, @iamadamconnie
[Continue reading] about i don’t brag right… (after “notes” from redditors)This is a study space.
All I ask is if we arm the teachers, the librarians get silencers. @dennisrooney7
[Continue reading] about This is a study space.It’s hard to tell!
you’?e probably wondering… what race is that’ guy anyway? y dad is fvom India, f om apan sus i rom ELEVEA Nai
[Continue reading] about It’s hard to tell!Don’t believe in crisis actors?
90nIt believéÄhFCrisis actors? Apparently you haven’t seen me play up my personal drama! Wake up, folks: Drama queens are real, and we’re coming for your attention.
[Continue reading] about Don’t believe in crisis actors?99 problems…
@UTEENSTEWART WHEN I 22 YEARS OLD, A PROBLEMS TATTOO. I HAD 99 PROBLEMS AND milTCH WASN’T ONE BECAUSE AT 22 YEARS
[Continue reading] about 99 problems…2018 reunion
someone took me to a nightclub and after a while a guy opened fire, starts shooting everyone so, my friend and I book it, we’re sprinting, he yells “I’m so so ry I took you there, I never thought we’d run into anybody from high school” AlexAvery AlexAveryisdead
[Continue reading] about 2018 reunionPush it to the limit
I found Scarface to be unrealistic because of the scene *ere he goes “First we get the money, then we get the Dower, then we get the women.” IVe know a few drug dealers. fwp nl”lltha you’re after and you aveas i the money and Dower steps. James Myers @MisterJMyers
[Continue reading] about Push it to the limitGiving “Spring Cleaning” a new meaning
Back in middle school, there was a problem with kids huffing nail polish remover. 4 years later, in high school they wer sucking down cans of keyboard dust- Now, I come home to college roommates passed out next to open boxes of Tide detergent pods. I don’t think this is a new problem; just the […]
[Continue reading] about Giving “Spring Cleaning” a new meaningGuns
What I’m saying is, be kind to each other.
A few years back I was a broom and dustpan operator at a zoo. One day I hear this kid whining, ‘This place sucks! I waÅna go to a petting zoo!” I instantly hated this kid with all of my being. I said to him, “Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you’re not little […]
[Continue reading] about What I’m saying is, be kind to each other.my girlfriend’s operation
“1 stopped in a convenience store, I’m waiting in line to pay and the guy in front of me puts down a dozen doughnuts, two big bags of Doritos, one of those cheap one gallon bottles of the generic brand fruit punch, and a nasty old rotting banana. He turns to the clerk and says […]
[Continue reading] about my girlfriend’s operationSorey-so sorey EH!
I dropped my Canadian bacon this morning it apologized to me Julie Dra
[Continue reading] about Sorey-so sorey EH!There’s only one operation that can help!
“1 stopped in a convenience store, I’m waiting in line to pay and the guy in front of me puts down a dozen doughnuts, two big bags of Doritos, one of those cheap one gallon bottles of the generic brand fruit punch, and a nasty old rotting banana. He turns to the clerk and says […]
[Continue reading] about There’s only one operation that can help!Pink Panther
I’m so white, I thought Waka Flocka Flame was a brand of tiki torch. I’m so white, I eat yogurt for the cultures. @Lad BirdASr¯h
[Continue reading] about Pink PantherConvienence store fun
“1 stopped in a convenience store, I’m waiting in line to pay and the guy in front of me puts down a dozen doughnuts, two big bags of Doritos, one of those cheap one gallon bottles of the generic brand fruit punch, and a nasty old rotting banana. He turns to the clerk and says […]
[Continue reading] about Convienence store fun